the end

i realized that it was official when i was talking to my colleague the other day, and he asked of my plans for next year and i told him that i was going back to america for good. it was the first time i had said it out loud, as a thing of certainty. and it didn't seem weird or scary, just true.

so, that is the final decision. i have gone back and forth for a few months now, and i have wrestled with this decision, but i feel almost completely confident that this is the best decision for me right now.

i know it's going to be hard. i love china. i will miss it and the people here very much. but i believe this season here for me is coming to an end in less than two months.

it's so weird that it's already over. i feel like i was just creating this blog and getting my visa in the mail and telling everyone of my exciting adventure...and now i am looking for plane tickets and praying for a job and thinking of how i can say goodbye to everyone i have met here. everyone.

so, it's sad, but exciting too. it's been an amazing year of growth, some that i will probably not even recognize until i'm home. but i know it's been good. and i know now more than ever that i was made to tell people of Jesus.

i will keep this blog for a while, probably to share more china stories when i have more time after i get home, and possibly to share some of my settling back into american culture.

i know i'm only 28, but after my sister died two years ago, my thoughts of writing a book became more real to me. when i was in beijing last week, we went to this really cool leather shop, and my sweet friend bought me a beautiful, huge book.
i hope to start writing soon.