blog title: september 26th in china

blog content:

so, saturday was my sister's 35th birthday, and i was unsure of what the day would hold. i was kind of nervous actually. i am far away from family and friends.
i am away from anyone who knew ramey. and i didn't know how i would feel, if i would want to be alone all day, or if i would want to talk about it, or how she
could be properly honored and remembered in a place that doesn't know of her. so, i didn't tell anyone. i told one girl the night before because she invited me
somewhere and i explained that i was unsure of what i would do tomorrow. then, that morning, another girl asked what my plans were and i told her the same thing.

i woke up sad. i spent time in the word. i prayed, i cried, i read, i played my guitar and sang songs that ramey loved and some that reminded me of her. and i don't
know exactly what happened, but i know God was beginning to do something in my heart. He was breaking me. i was opening up to Him in a way that i haven't in a long time. and
i was crying about ramey in a way that i don't know if i have before. i don't know what happened but it was good.

then, i had to go run some errands with my roommate. as we were biking, she asked about ramey's birthday and what she liked to do on her birthday's, and what
we did last year to celebrate (one of the girls had told her). then she asked if we could have a party to celebrate ramey. and i started to cry.

she did all the texting, someone made a homemade cake, and we met at a nice restaurant that evening. me and 12 people, one who met ramey one time, the rest strangers to my sister,
almost to me too. they had me sit at the head of the table, and we started the meal like any other. pretty soon someone asked a question about ramey, and i answered, and next
thing i knew, i was telling stories and every eye was on me. no one was eating. we were laughing and crying and remembering. it was unreal. they ordered a cake there at the restaurant, and we sang to ramey and ate the cake.

then the party moved to the rooftop of some of the girls' 17th floor apartment. we sang happy birthday again, to the heavens, and then a girl played the guitar and we began to worship.
it was so beautiful. it was like nothing i have ever been a part of before. the Holy Spirit was so evident, and we were being led by Him. we worshiped, and then we talked some more. i played the song i wrote about ramey. they asked more questions about her. i was able to share so much about her life and also her death, and the aftermath, and how we are all dealing.
it was so healing for me. so good to talk about it. so wonderful to celebrate her life by talking about her and laughing about her craziness and crying about her goodness.
it was amazing.

at about 12:30, we got around to eating the homemade cake out of the pan with forks and drinking milk out of coffee mugs. when we left at 1:15 am, we had all been affected in
many different ways. i was blessed beyond what i can say by these people's outpouring of love and friendship for me on such an important day. and they tell me they have been
impacted by ramey's life that was so well lived, that while they didn't know her, they are encouraged, changed, sad they never knew her, and thankful that i am here to tell them.

God is doing a work, and it is so cool. it reminded me again, that when these things seem too hard to bear, He is working all things together for His good. He is using ramey to
bring glory to Himself. and i am so thankful.